When I arrived in Japan, I had never taught a day in my life. Well, not really. I put my experience with vacation bible school down on my application, but during that time I was only an assistant to the arts and crafts teacher. I had never planned or run an English lesson nor did I have any idea what exactly would be expected of me as an ALT by my specific schools. For their part, CLAIR and AJET had some useful panels at the Tokyo Orientation all about teaching English abroad. Teaching experience is not a requirement for this position, and I think they understand there are several applicants like me who need the extra help. Despite this, I still felt woefully unprepared for my first classes and was incredibly nervous around my students, of whom I knew nothing.
This first year has been as much about my learning how to teach and live in Japan as it has teaching students English. I feel this has come at a high cost. I look back over the pictures of last year’s graduation ceremony for Ariake Junior High and am upset to find that I cannot name even a single graduating student. I feel I’d made no real connections to any student at that time. However, I have learned how to teach, at least enough that running a class alone or planning a lesson in as little as five minutes is not nearly as daunting as it once was. I have confidence now when standing in front of the students, and can approach and speak to almost any of them, now that I know, in a general sense, what level of English they can understand.
If my first year was learning how to teach English, I want this next year to be about how to teach my students. I want to get to know all my kids: their names, their interests, and their language ability. I want to be able to give more personalized attention to students who may need extra help in order to understand the lesson and when I run into their parents, which has happened on occasion, I want to be able to smile knowingly and give some genuine praise of their son or daughter. Is this an achievable goal? I certainly think so and I know several ALTs who have done the same. But it is going to be difficult. I teach upwards of 250 students at varying degrees of frequency and even with all extra time I’ve been spending with various clubs and activities I would guess I barely know a third of their names, if that.
Naturally, getting to know my students comes with its own drawbacks. I’ve already been made aware of several cases of in fighting among students, which makes it difficult as I want everyone to be happy. Of course my school is filled with the same problems as any comparable school in America, but at least before I started to delve into my students’ lives outside English class I didn’t have to worry about it. Also weighing on my mind is the thought that I‘ll eventually have to leave my students or, as is the case with the 3rd graders at junior high, that they’ll leave me. I think it’s one of the hardest tings about this job. Add that to the fact that I’ll never really know what kind of impact I had here. Even if I did do something remarkable and helped a student in a significant way, I’ll never know, because in a year I’ll be gone and I’ll never see any of my kids again.
So that’s basically where I’m at right now. I keep telling myself there’s no reason to be thinking about things that are still a year away and that it’s better to concentrate on the present. And for what it’s worth, the present is pretty awesome. I’m enjoying spending as much time with my kids as I can in spite of the occasional rough moments.
you might run into a few of them on the street randomly if you're still in the area in a few years. My friend teaches English and she runs into her kids quite a bit ^^
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think every teacher probably has to wonder what kind of impact they make on kids' lives. I attended schools in several cities and states over the years, and I've never been very successful at keeping in contact with them. It's made more difficult by the fact that teachers do not have anymore of stationary lives than their students: they move, too, or find new positions or go onto different schools. There are a number of teachers, though, that have made huge impacts on my life that I wish I could properly thank, and it's just my hope that someday I am able to find a way to let them know. But even if I don't, I just have to hope that in some way, they know their efforts to teach me and impart some love of what they taught me weren't for nothing... and I imagine that, even if for the most of your students there might not be that connection, for some of them, maybe even just one, there will be.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, it sounds to me that you've probably been a good, if not great, teacher. Maybe you didn't come in with the most experience, or even any experience. But it sounds like you definitely have a lot of heart, and I think that comes across even when there's a lack of skill. I'm sure that your contracting organization must see it; if they were dissatisfied with your efforts they surely wouldn't have asked you to sign again.
More than likely you never let your grade school and junior high teachers how they touched your lives. My way of thinkinking is what you are doing now is how you are thanking them and hopefully as these kids grow up become adults they will do things to touch some kids lives and that is their thank you to you. You move on and touch more lives in all kind of different ways. Your teachers would be proud.
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