10 things Japan Will Do To Me

As I am returning stateside permanently come July, I thought it appropriate to post a list of changes my friends and family will likely take note of once I get back. I’ll have lived in Japan for a full two years, and there are a number of habits, good and bad, I’ve adopted that I don’t see going away the moment I hit US soil. So, without further ado, here are the top ten things my time in Japan will probably make me do.

10- Speak in Japanese- I’m unlikely to have full-on conversations, but for automated, short phrases like “すみません” or “ちがお” I’ll likely break into Japanese. In fact, I’ve already had one experience during a trip back to the states where this happened. I bumped into someone at HEB and the first words out of my mouth were “ごめんなさい.” Three years of limited English interaction will make you do that. It will also make you…

9- Forget English Words- Again, this is likely to only affect a few words here and there, and only because I have no need for them on a daily basis. More than once, I’ve had to stop and seriously think, “What word was I trying to say again?” I’ve also completely forgotten what I used in America to say goodbye, as here it is almost always “see you” or “bye-bye.”

8- Use Japanese Gestures- Along the same lines of #10 above, I’ve become so accustomed to indicating myself by pointing at my nose and calling people over by making a pawing motion that it’s unlikely to change once I get back to the states. I will also bow a lot. I’m sure there are others that I’m not even aware of, but will become painfully obvious once I’m the only one doing them.

7- Speak Slowly- I still hang out with English speakers, so this might not be as pronounced, but it’s likely that I’ll speak and read a bit slower than I used to. Very few Japanese people are able to understand a native English speaker going at their natural speed. It’s understandable, as I have the same problem with Japanese. The result is that I’m almost always required to speak a bit slower than I usually would.

6- Compare and Contrast Japan and America Constantly- Let’s say I go back to America and you and I decide to head to Whataburger (because screw McDonalds, we have that here). I will likely complain about the service and get really excited about the fact you can special order, which is unheard of in Japan. Reverse culture shock is very real, and one of the most common results I’ve heard from Japan to America is the feeling that everyone is a jerk. Maybe they are, depending on your standard. The thing is my standard will be at a different place thanks to Japan. As you can see from this example, there is no clear winner in this debate. I may praise the virtues of Japan in one breath and lament its shortcomings in the next. It’ll be fun times.

5- Talk About Teaching and My Kids- Take a look at my previous blog posts and you’ll notice a not-too-alarming tend. I talk about work and my students a lot. That’s because I spend 10 hours a day at school, sometimes following that up with an extra 2 hours of kendo or lesson planning at home. It may not be as clear from this blog, as it is meant to be about my experiences in Japan, but I love my job. Last time I went home, I spent hours pouring over my pictures with my family, and that was from before I started spending so much extra time at school. This will probably get annoying to some. I make no apologies.

4- Suck At Driving- Prior to coming to Japan, I had done fairly little driving in America. As a result, I‘ve actually had more experience on Japanese roads and in Japanese cars. There are a number of differences that I’m sure will become evident once I start driving in America. Japan uses the left side of the road as opposed to the right, their streets are overall narrower and the speed limits are lower. Add to that the fact that I drive a yellow-plate car, which has a smaller body and engine than any American car I can think of, and you get a rather long list of obstacles I’ll have to overcome while transitioning to American roads.

3- Get a Bunch Of Manga and Anime- Ironically enough, my time in Japan has actually cut me off of the anime and manga scene in America. Sure, I read and watch my fair share of Japanese pop, but I have no idea what’s been released stateside in the last two years. Another thing to note is that, while there are several anime series on basic cable, they aren’t on at the most convenient times for me. By and large, anime is seen as something for children, and is given timeslots that reflect this. For example, if I want to watch Bleach or Naruto, I’ll have to be up at 5:30 AM on Saturday. Furthermore, there is the growing list of manga my students have brought to my attention that I will likely look into once I don’t have to spend a good hour translating a single chapter. Also, I have about 25 volumes of One Piece to catch up on.

2- Gain Weight (Unless I Really Watch Myself)- I have at least one balanced meal everyday Monday through Friday and regularly exercise with junior high school children. Add in the myriad of delicious (and unhealthy) foods I’m going to be craving once I get back and you have a recipe for disaster. Unless I’m careful and keep up some sort of exercise, I can easily see myself putting on a few pounds.

1- Import Stuff- The ease of getting really cool stuff I would have likely never heard of without being in Japan has got me hooked on a number of products that will never get imported to America. I’ll also be returning with a Japanese Wii and PS2 (and possibly a Super Famicom), and it would be a waste not to get my money’s worth out of those machines. It will be another expensive hobby, but I don’t see it going away.